Get Outta Austin!
She texted. We kicked her out.: Reason #7,202 to Love Austin: The standing "No A55H0L3$" policy. If a peep wants to make an ass outta themselves, they need to go to a national franchise where it's allowed. In Austin, our "Keep Austin Weird" culture owns too many stores, making weird versions of almost any chain you can imagine. A$$holez ain't allowed here, and it can border on violence when those worlds collide. The Alamo Drafthouse is Austin's weird version of a theater, and it's consistently listed as the top theater in the nation. This is an actual recording of a customer who got herself ejected from the theater for texting during the movie. That's right, chica, welcome to the pavement... and get outta Austin.


Note: We also have signs in weird shops that state things like, "There is an additional $10 charge for being an a55h0le." There are also buttons on our registers to back these claims. All the tattoos and piercings you'll find on us... well, they ain't just fashion statements. That guy with the tat of R2-D2 on his arm and the huge rings hanging from his ears just literally threw a customer out of a door last night... and made a living bouncing bars on the other side of Texas. We call him Darth Murphy (or, if you prefer, "That Lazy Piece of Sith"). He loves being given the green light to show someone their place. Definitely read the [Full Article], as it was written by Alamo's founder, and ends with the immortal words: Ma'am, you may be free to text in all the other theaters in the Magnited States of America, but here at our "little crappy ass theater," you are not. Why you may ask? Well, we actually do give a f*$k.

With thanks to Gaea for turning me onto the article.